Thursday, May 29, 2008
this is summer timei wanted to post like a super emo picture but i decided not too...
my current status:
1) tired
2) sleepy
3) sick and in pain
today is such a long day... this whole week is just crazy and i'm seriously dying... 2 tests tomorrow... sigh...
to thee, mr unknown
i just want you to know my emotions...
can you please appear soon?
love,
maddy
XOXO
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
it's been a long time since i posted something that gotta do with my jap boys...
here is something that i found...
~RYO CHAN, PI CHAN~
haha... i just so tired after everything... have been so busy with a million and one stuff with thousands of things happening...
my summer uniform is put on hold... and many other things...
things that i need to do NOW:
1) finish my lodging article review
2) study for Gaming
3) study for Operation F&B
Before Holidays:
4) do my MICE project
5) do my DPD project
6) research on my lodging project
7) finish up Ops F&B project
8) do my Gaming project
i'm going back to the student care centre to visit my kiddos tomorrow and to visit the teachers... i miss them like crazy and i miss having money in my bank... my dad and mum continue to not give me pocket money and i'm already running dry... after paying for my transport and setting aside money for this week, i only have less than $50 in my bank... so sad
oh well... sigh... God will be my provider...
Things coming up:
1) Pulau Ubin Trip this sat
2) Big Groove on 8th June
3) Church Camp on 10th-13th June
here is something that i found...
~RYO CHAN, PI CHAN~haha... i just so tired after everything... have been so busy with a million and one stuff with thousands of things happening...
my summer uniform is put on hold... and many other things...
things that i need to do NOW:
1) finish my lodging article review
2) study for Gaming
3) study for Operation F&B
Before Holidays:
4) do my MICE project
5) do my DPD project
6) research on my lodging project
7) finish up Ops F&B project
8) do my Gaming project
i'm going back to the student care centre to visit my kiddos tomorrow and to visit the teachers... i miss them like crazy and i miss having money in my bank... my dad and mum continue to not give me pocket money and i'm already running dry... after paying for my transport and setting aside money for this week, i only have less than $50 in my bank... so sad
oh well... sigh... God will be my provider...
Things coming up:
1) Pulau Ubin Trip this sat
2) Big Groove on 8th June
3) Church Camp on 10th-13th June
XOXO
Monday, May 26, 2008
there is so much more than what the eye can see...i wanted to blog in the afternoon while waiting for mon dear to finish her research in the computer lab but somehow there was some problem with blogger... and i thank God i didn't blog in the afternoon but throughout the day, i manage to understand someone better...
well, it's the irritating insensitive guy... but you know, it's really so true that everyone have their own needs and especial this one... he just wanna be loved and accepted by others and he hates being alone...
and it's really awesome that how we are slowly becoming friends and i'm also slowly changing and altering the size of my heart to accept him as God's child and a precious someone...
it's not that i like him... seriously NO INTEREST! but, it's really the love of God that is flowing out...
anyways, yes... i got like million things to complete by tonight and i'm no where near BUT BUT BUT i will stop thanking God... oh oh, He is just so so awesome and He is definately one God who listens when His children cries out to Him... and it's awesome just seeing God's fingerprint on every little things in life...
praying is nothing hard and you don't have to be a rocket scientist to know how to pray... oh oh, thank God also cause my grace dear manage to get the SIP company of her choice and they even decided to give her a pay raise... PRAISE GOD!!!
look out for more testimonies and awesome stories =)
XOXO
Sunday, May 25, 2008
i no longer believe in my eyes and my heart...
but my trust is only in the one true God,
my Lord and King,
the shepherd when i'm lost,
the loving father,
the faithful friend,
the best helper ever...
thank you, Lord for loving me when i don't deserve it...
hey guys, this post will mark the start of my INTENSIVE week because of the 3 tests and 1 deadline... i will still try to be human and sociable even in the midst of all the chaos k? i will try...
MY INTERVIEW... I'M SO SO SO SO WORRIED...
MY HEALTH AND WELL-BEING...
MY TESTS AND ASSIGNMENTS...
please pray for me?
alrighty, it's already very late... will stop here... nighty night =)
XOXO
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
looking through love and sinceritywanted to blog a whole lot last night but i guess it's kinda God's will that i don't... because i used the whole night to think about what i wanted to say/blog...
i actually wanted to like talk about someone and like sort of criticize her... but... i guess God is asking me to think before i just like shoot her... anyways, yeah... so i got this classmate and she's like pretty and smart and took part in competition and won award kind... but yesterday i saw her "true character"... and i actually got very disgusted...
i mean... you can very talented and all but if your character sucks then there's no point le...
anyways, God is really like teaching me a lot... and especially on "loving your enemy"... remember the irritating boy i talk about? well, God is kinda like allowing me to get to know him more... the more time i spend with him, i feel like he is not like all bad and stuff... afterall, he is also God's creation...
there's so much about him besides the point that he is freaking rich and irritating... so yup, i thank God for those opportunities and i will make full use of them...
oh oh, my interview will be on 27 May, Tuesday at 5pm... so please do keep me in your prayers
=)
anyways, gotta go off now... love you all my ever-so-faithful readers
XOXO
i'm so sleepy.... snooorreeeeehello everyone, it's now 2:18AM on TUESDAY 20 May 2008... i just got home from the A380 flight to Tokyo reception... it's super fun but tiring... i guess it's good overall... the peeps (mostly year 2s) are quite a funny bunch and the SATS Kitchen people are nice too...
afterall, it's a flight to Tokyo (Narita) so there's like super a lot of japanese... they are very nice and friendly people... not weird and stuff...
anyways, a new updates... i've started on my Project Summer Fuku... this project is to make a japanese summer uniform... i've already gotten the cloths, cut them up... and now it's the sewing part... it will be long but i believe that it will be awesome...
after this project, i will start on a DRESS COLLECTION... i've already got the design, i just need to manage my money & spending then look at my schedule to see if it's ok to do it...
but anyways, i just wanna say that God have been very good to me and i just wanna hunger and thrist for more and more of Him... so yup... continue to pray for my Overseas Internship can??? the interview is postponed so there's more time for us to pray... hee
XOXO
Thursday, May 15, 2008
revive my heart, Lordi don't want my head to rule over my heart...
my heart that love God, love people...
is this the result of me using my head to rule for that short while,
forcing myself to forget stuff,
forcing myself to smile, to be normal...
now... i can't feel anything... and i hate it...
there's no love... no care...
but i'm still doing the right thing...
the only time i felt love from someone,
was last night in a dream...
when i woke up, i wish that it could somehow continue...
i could not smile from my heart anymore...
when bel told me to smile,
it suddenly feel like an impossible task for me...
i no longer feel crazy about my japanese boys,
no longer jump and dance to my sailormoon songs...
no longer do all that...
what happen to me? can anyone tell me the answer?
i wish that the person from my dream would be real...
XOXO
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Miyuki, smile smile~slept super late last night (this morning) so i didn't manage to wake up for my 9am make up lecture... hahah... woke up at around 10am then went to bathe and stuff... settled some domestic affairs and went to school for meeting...
group meeting was good... once again, i was put in-charge for coming up with the design for the hotel and casino... i love designing... hahhaha
after meeting, i had lecture... then i went to bedok to get my RAMLY burger... i LOVE LOVE LOVE ramly burgers... hahha
anyways, gotta go back to work already...
XOXO
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
i'm tired of being a warrior princess, Daddy God... please help me stop fighting...
let me run into Your arms of comfort and love again...teach me how to stop fighting and start loving again...
help me remember how it feels like to be loved...
i hate living and meeting expectations of people,
teach me how to love You and live for You...
XOXO
Monday, May 12, 2008
- i covered my face with a cheerful umbrella-anyways, before i typed this, i actually wrote a whole post but i decided not to post it... it's way too emo and too melodramatic...
now, my mind is just filled with so much thoughts...
things that I WANT TO DO:
1) make my clothes
2) come up with more designs
3) my OSIP
4) i just wanna sing and dance
5) relationships...
i know it's not time yet... it's still too early... all i HAVE to do now is to study and do my projects... and i hate it... i'm still trying to know why i am in HTM... why God bring me to HTM...
i love fashion design, but my parents disagree... time don't permit... money don't allow... BUT i'm gonna do it no matter what...
XOXO
Saturday, May 10, 2008
things that need to be fixedwell, i'm kinda like in a "i wanna do what i want to do" mode... i want to do my designing, i want to start sewing and making my designs, i wanna learn how to make costume jewelry... i want to do so much...
just wanna stop studying and like start doing something that i'm passionate about... which is fashion and stuff...
but i guess, that is not possible... i guess only after i graduate then i will truly have the time to spare to do stuff like that... for now, it's just assignments, projects, reports and SIP/OSIP... no time to think about my passion...
argh... i hate it.....
ooh well.... i will just have to wait for the season to come...
XOXO
Thursday, May 08, 2008
lost in the forest of lifei haven't had the time to blog for the past few days... lots of things to do, deadlines to meet etc etc... but thank God one is down... thanks to isaac and aunty ayelan, i manage to complete the documents needed for the internship...
i just finish printing it and i will hand it in to my tutor tomorrow... next i will have to wait for the inteview... i will have to prepare myself for it too... i must work hard this semester... that's why i made a card that says "Ganbatte Kudasai, Miyuki" which means"please work hard, miyuki" to remind myself to work hard... my organizer is already filled with deadlines for projects and report and i even have extra post-it paper to stick on days that i have work to do...
i'm really working hard... attending classes, doing my part for the projects and research and all...
i'm also working hard to lose weight... i want to be healthy and fit again... back to my original weight... FIGHT THE FATS!!! haha... so to achieve that, i have to working out... abs, arm, cardio etc etc... hahaha
i'm also trying to improve my japanese... so i made character cards to help me remember how to read and write it and to recognise it... i must work hard and do well, since i don't have the money to go for proper classes...
i'm also reading my bible and constantly reminding myself about the resolution i made; to finish the bible in 1 year... and i'm on track, which is good... learning and growing from QT...
recently, people who crossed my path really tests my patience and tolerance... but i always manage to control my myself... of course, thanks to my high EQ and AQ... so i don't snap at people...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
one example is the IT uncle in school... i wanted to do some wireless internet thingy with my laptop and i got some difficulties with configuring it... so i kindly approached the uncle and he said to me "you must put in more effort"... in my mind, i was like "seriously girlfriend, what's you problem..." but thank God i cooled down and do it ON MY OWN again... in the end, my IQ proved to me that i'm not a bimbo...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
second example is a project mate... you guys know how i usually dress right? wearing clothes everyday is like a dressing up for me... i will do a whole role play and stuff... and so i was wearing a pink top with denmin skirt with my black high socks and my Pull and Bear Sicko shoes... the style was kinda sporty jap... but that guy will have to comment and give me his "all so marvelous" fashion advice... he said, is you take away the socks and shoes and put on heels, you will be hot...
of course i smiled and continue doing my things... to avoid snapping at him, i distract myself with work... and he went on and on and on and on and on... OMG!!! seriously hor, just stop lah... so what you're a model...
then he went on to say that "sagittarius are like that... (both of us are sagittarius) and he talked about how sagittarius like to wear a lot of stuff on themselves... (seriously, i don't think that i am a christmas tree cause i don't hang things on myself)... i was just wearing a top, skirt, high socks and shoes... without accessories...
anyways, i continue smiling and hide every single disapproving and disagreeing look on my face... YET, he didn't stop there........ i would seriously kill him... oh oh, the day before, i actually wore a ribbon choker and he commented that it looks bad on the neck and suggested that i wear it on my wrist instead... so being polite, i agreed and he helped me tie it on my wrist (like ballet style)...
this guy is really very........ but nevermind... i will be nice to him... at least through him, i can see that being rich, tall (maybe goodlooking) and smart doesn't mean that you will naturally be nice... well, i'd rather be poor, short and fat and dumb YET know how to treat people with respect...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ok ok, i better stop talking about him or else this post will be like dedicated to him or something... tsk... ahhaha
XOXO
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Rose- deep redi'm thinking deep... haha... even though school have been good so far, having fun with dears and new classmates... but i feel that i should really be stronger... cause... i get intimidated easily... and it's really bad...
because of some people, i feel super stressed being the group leader for one of the subject project... i'm feeling so stressed and scared yet i put on a smile and act cool during project meeting...
i'm not as efficient as someone else but i really want to try... i really pray that God will help me as i try hard...
now i'm off to do my work already... so much things to do... hurry maddy chan, haiyaku...
XOXO
Monday, May 05, 2008
i want to be a kawaii doll... hahai wanna start by thanking God for everything... for healing me and helping me recover so quickly... help me with dance and like normal daily life... i wanna thank God for awesome school friends...
everyday i'm meeting new people and making friends and i thank God for that... i finally found this girl who is trying to get into this same hotel in Beijing as me... and it's nice cause both of us were alone, but we were glad that we are both signing up... and she's so nice... and she dances too... cool huh
i still thank God for my dears, monica and grace... thank God that we are all in the same class and class is so much fun because of them... even though lectures might be boring, but having them by your side is really a great help to stay awake... mon dear will have a million sweets and grace dear will never stop doodling on my lecture notes...
I LOVE YOU GUYS, MON & GRACE!!!
project meeting have been fun so far... having 3 new project mates who are really funny is quite cool... even though one might be a lil' crude, one might be a lil' strict, one might be a lil' wierd but they are cool people... hee
anyways, i got a special prayer request... as all of you know, i'm trying to apply for overseas internship (attachment)... i really need God to open doors for me... like help me with the necessary documents and the interview and stuff...
if i get accepted, i will be away from Sep to end of Jan... that means it's 5 whole months... i'm willing to sacrifice celebrating my 20th birthday, my christmas, my new year alone... i'm willing to do all the hard work in Beijing because i really want the experience...
so please pray for me k?
XOXO
Sunday, May 04, 2008
i'm just so loved...thank you Lord...
thank you my hommies, Coral, Isaac, Ade, Ying Chuan, Gaius, Aiken...
thank you my son, sunny
thank you, many others who are so wonderful... all you beautiful creation of God... so fearfully and wonderfully made... I LOVE YOU ALL!!!
anyways, i'm gonna announce something else too... besides that my pet stuff toy is cute... hahaha... my imaginery apparel shop, CHARM will be working on the very first project very very soon...
after all the OSIP frenzy, i will head down to different places to shop for clothes and Project Summer Fuku begins... (summer fuku is a japanese summer school uniform)
i'm taking a physical first step to make my passion a dream come true and i hope that it will be good... if this is good, those of you who have seen my dress designs can start placing orders already... hahahha...
no lah... i just wanna make wearing clothes fun... not just using some pieces of cloth to cover yourself but to wear it and make it YOURS... anyways, i still got a long way to go... i will do my best =)
XOXO
Saturday, May 03, 2008
HELLO EVERYONE,
I'M GLAD TO ANNOUNCE THAT
THIS IS MY 800TH POST!!!
-woots-
and i'm going to introduce my new pet to you...
minna san, everyone... meet.......
my pet stuffed toy, Kawaii chan... (named by meredith) which literally means cute...
I'M GLAD TO ANNOUNCE THAT
THIS IS MY 800TH POST!!!
-woots-
and i'm going to introduce my new pet to you...
minna san, everyone... meet.......
my pet stuffed toy, Kawaii chan... (named by meredith) which literally means cute...
as you can see, the many pictures of me and kawaii chan, you can tell that i really love it right??? hahha... i love love stuffed toy and kawaii chan is pocket size so i can actually bring it around... so it's good
^__^
ok, that's not the main point of my post today... i know that this whole have been crazy for me... and i guess if you're faithful reader, you will probably feel the same too... but i THANK GOD that He spoke to me and really allow FREEDOM to come into my heart, into my life...
i know He is not done with me... there are still many areas in me that needs to be changed... and i will have to learn that step by step...
i will not give up until i meet God, i will not give up until i hear Him speak to me again, i will never give up until i hear Him say "good and faithful servant"...
XOXO
Friday, May 02, 2008
somehow when you're sick, you wish that there would be someone...
.
.
.
.
a family member?
.
.
.
a friend?
.
.
.
or just any stranger?
well, i've been asking myself that question for the past week... who was with me throughout the nights of high fever, who was holding my hand when i was at the clinic, who was there when i have to take those antibiotics..
all these.... i know that i wasn't alone... God was there with me... when i complain that no one cares, He bled for me... when i cried myself to sleep because of the headache, He was there, right beside me...
i always forget that He can be THERE... i only realised that this morning... when i crawl out of bed and told myself i'm fine and i should go to school... when i bathe and put on some makeup to cover my pale self... i prayed as i walk to the bus stop and wait for the bus that will bring me to the interchange...
the queue was crazy, all the way to the hawker centre... i was shock but i waited in the queue (all alone, i though)... when i felt so sick that i would faint, i ran out from the queue and straight to the toilet... that 5 mins in the dirty old toilet... it doesn't matter at all...
i almost cried and say that i should head home instead... but pictures of my parents and granny scolding me kept me away... they didn't believe that i was sick... they didn't believe that i got high fever and thermometer says 38.9 degrees...
then God came... at least someone believed that i was so sick yet i am still fighting on... at least someone cries with me... at least someone cares so much that He spend the whole night with me so that i could get proper rest...
i know it's silly but i'm always living in my fantasy world... a little kingdom that i build in the deepest place of my head... a place where i can run to, a place where i can find love, acceptance, care and concern... in my lil' fantasy world, i'm the princess... waiting for the knight to come... waiting and waiting...
but i know that i shouldn't lie to myself anymore... this lil' fantasy world cannot stay... the thought of me becoming a super hero and saving the world from evil... the thought of me getting rescued by my knight... no more....
wake up, maddy... don't lie to yourself anymore...
.
.
.
.
a family member?
.
.
.
a friend?
.
.
.
or just any stranger?
well, i've been asking myself that question for the past week... who was with me throughout the nights of high fever, who was holding my hand when i was at the clinic, who was there when i have to take those antibiotics..
all these.... i know that i wasn't alone... God was there with me... when i complain that no one cares, He bled for me... when i cried myself to sleep because of the headache, He was there, right beside me...
i always forget that He can be THERE... i only realised that this morning... when i crawl out of bed and told myself i'm fine and i should go to school... when i bathe and put on some makeup to cover my pale self... i prayed as i walk to the bus stop and wait for the bus that will bring me to the interchange...
the queue was crazy, all the way to the hawker centre... i was shock but i waited in the queue (all alone, i though)... when i felt so sick that i would faint, i ran out from the queue and straight to the toilet... that 5 mins in the dirty old toilet... it doesn't matter at all...
i almost cried and say that i should head home instead... but pictures of my parents and granny scolding me kept me away... they didn't believe that i was sick... they didn't believe that i got high fever and thermometer says 38.9 degrees...
then God came... at least someone believed that i was so sick yet i am still fighting on... at least someone cries with me... at least someone cares so much that He spend the whole night with me so that i could get proper rest...
i know it's silly but i'm always living in my fantasy world... a little kingdom that i build in the deepest place of my head... a place where i can run to, a place where i can find love, acceptance, care and concern... in my lil' fantasy world, i'm the princess... waiting for the knight to come... waiting and waiting...
but i know that i shouldn't lie to myself anymore... this lil' fantasy world cannot stay... the thought of me becoming a super hero and saving the world from evil... the thought of me getting rescued by my knight... no more....
wake up, maddy... don't lie to yourself anymore...
XOXO