WELCOME
Enter into the world of drama and God's miracle... Maddy's fairytale =)
ABOUT ME

Madeline Xiong (Maddy)
Kuma Miyuki
Tower of Strength
Born on 21/12/1988
Graduated from TP HTM
Currently working at Citadines Mt Sophia
LOVE GOD
LOVE DANCE
LOVE SINGING
LOVE L.A UNIT
Wishlist

Camera
Holiday
SAY THAT YOU LOVE ME

MY DREAM-

I want to be a awesome dancer.
A super annointed singer.
An airstewrdess.
A Missionary.
A woman mightily used by God.
LOOK INTO MY PAST


March 2006
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January 2007
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January 2008
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January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009

GRATITUDE.
layout &picture: VIVIAN :D
brushes: here (:
image host: here (:
done with photoshop cs2 :D
Friday, January 30, 2009


happiness

noun
1. state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy [ant: unhappiness]
2. emotions experienced when in a state of well-being [ant: sadness]


幸福的滋味


XOXO


Thursday, January 29, 2009

新春快乐!
Happy Lunar New Year!


Me and my cousin, Melissa (表妹)
Us in the car... (在老爸的车里)
At Granny's house... (在奶奶家)
My cousin, Michelle and Carol (表妹和表姐)
My family, with grandma... (一家人和外婆)

Daddy and me... (老爸和我)



Last but not least...
My grandma and me... (外婆和我)


XOXO


Wednesday, January 21, 2009




first and foremost,

To "Faith": i didn't become blind after i have a boyfriend... i know that i have family, friends and most importantly God who love me... and i didn't forget them or abandon them okay? at times i grumble and whine about them but i know deep inside that they love me and i love them...

To Coral: thank you babe for always being there for me... for always giving me the advice, courage and love... looking forward to many more years with you!

To BeL: thank you for not giving up on me... it's tough to get out of home now especially with grandma not being able to do much so i have to be home most of the time to take care of her and my brothers... attending cell might be tough cause my parents work till late on weekdays so there's no one for me to "switch shift" with... i hope you understand...

To Josey: thank you for being that awesome friend who first call me when i touch down in Singapore... thank you for putting so much effort into things like making dinner plans and stuff...

To Grace Ke: thank you babe for always tagging and showing your love... i really appreciate everything you said and especially all the warm hugs... really needed them...

To Michelle Guna: hey, i know you're reading this... thank you for always checking up on me and always willing to be there for me and listen to me whine and whine... i know that you're busy with so much stuff yet you're willing to take time off... thank you so much...

To James, Bert, Chooby, Chuan and other readers: thank you guys for all the taggies... these tags really helped me through my stay in Sanya and i really appreciate it...

Last but never ever the least, Isaac: thank you for being that awesome friend who never fail to make me laugh and cry at the same time... thank you for teaching me so much and for changing my mindset about many things in life... your random sms really help me through every tired morning and every busy afternoons... Isaac, you are precious and thank you so much for EVERYTHING...







though there is a price to pay, i never regretted any of the choices i've made...


XOXO


Thursday, January 15, 2009

this is written after MUCH thinking...



to be very real, i was very very affected when i saw "Faith's" tag on my blog... before i could be all defensive and gearing myself to battle "Faith" out, i took a step back...

i wanted to say "well, you don't know me, you don't wear my chains......" and start cursing and swearing at anything but i didn't... i didn't have the strength to even be angry at anyone at that point... not with my family, not with God, not with myself...

i wanted to delete what "Faith" wrote on my tag board after going to the market this morning... but everything changed when my grandma had to go to the hospital again...

once again she is down and i have to bring her to the A&E... i was there alone, confused, scared and at the same time thinking about what "Faith" wrote... i broke down, i cried... and NOTE, i'm not asking for people to pity me or like come and "sayang" me...

i know that "Faith" meant well and he/she really cares enough for me to tag... whether to encourage or to smack me awake, i thank you for that... (even though it was kinda harsh...)

all i wanted was someone who cares for me when i have to care for others... all i wanted was someone to be there to know that it actually hurts to go through all these... i know it's all the whole "victim mentality" but seriously...

i might be silly, i might be crazy, i might even be very selfish to some of you... but all i wanted was LOVE because i'm hungry and thirsty inside... i am only a human, and i do fall, i do make mistakes...



who doesn't?


XOXO


Wednesday, January 14, 2009

希望,爱,勇气


because of him, i now have HOPE, LOVE and COURAGE to live again, to breathe again...

when no one was around to give me a tissue,
you were there to give me a support...
when i needed a hug,
you gave me strength...

you are more than what i can dream of...


因为有了老公,我有希望,爱和勇气去面对一切。。。

当没人给我纸巾时,
你给了我依靠。。。
当我需要拥抱时,
你给了我力量。。。

你是我梦寐以求的一切。。。

老公,我爱你。。。


XOXO



broken by the cruel reality of life
残酷的事实


hey all, this is your fav. 20-year-old housewife blogger; Mdm Xiong... well, today Mdm Xiong wanna share with you what have been happening to her sad little life...

yesterday, i was totally disturbed from my very essential beauty sleep... thanks to mum, dad and aunty... the moment i put down the phone, the next person calls... feels like as if i'm the PA of some high profile president of some Multi Billion Dollar Company... or as if i'm the manager of some A-list superstar...

after that i had to go and pick my lil' bro from school... thanks to some idiotic aunty i was super pissed off... she stepped so hard on my feet and didn't even say sorry... well, if you can't speak english, you can say it in mandarin or hokkien or cantonese or at least show that you're apologetic... stupid idiot... a "sorry" would be greatly appreciated...

then i had to rush down to CGH and do all the admin stuff and get my grandma discharged...

then i called hubby to chat with him over the phone... but thanks to a stupid little jealousy i kinda got angry with him... i mean, it wasn't a big deal but it affected me a lot... then because of some other stuff, hubby screamed at me... scolded me... and i cried...

after i hang up... i went to get dinner for my family... and there was some dinner order taking confusion that really pissed me off... argh... then i had to wait for more than 30mins for the freaking slow 229... stupid SBS and its "NO EFFICIENCY" service...

so as you can see, i had a super tough day yesterday... well, to put it bluntly, i never had a easy day since the day i got back... haha... thank you God for being so kind to my pathetic little life and thank you for nicely planning all these irritating people and events into my already broken life... thank you for Your amazing present for my 20th birthday by telling me my life is about to fall apart...

i just wanna go back to Sanya and leave Singapore forever... singapore is just too cruel to me...


昨天因为爸,妈和阿姨的电话,一早就把我给弄醒了。。。电话一直不停的响。。。
讨厌死了。。。之后,我到弟弟的学校去接他下课。。。然后有一个很没礼貌的中
年女人拆到了我的脚。。。好过份哦。。。可恶。。。真是没礼貌。。。连一句对
不起也不会说吗?

吃了午饭之后就去医院接外婆出院。。。回到家,我就打电话给老公。。。因为一
件很小的事,让我吃醋。。。因为老公有一个很奇怪的习惯。。。虽然他很想吃冰
淇淋,很想吃地瓜,可是他不会一边走一边吃。。。因为他觉得那很不man。。。

所以不管我怎么说他也不会一边走一边吃东西。。。可是奇怪的是,当我的朋友叫
他吃,他就真的吃。。。那很什么耶。。。那真的让我感到很没用。。。因为那样,
我就吃醋。。。之后因为一些“误会”,老公对我大喊大叫。。。他还骂了我。。。
结果把我给弄哭了。。。

挂了电话,我就出门买晚餐给家人吃。。。因为有点乱,所以在我叫东西的时候出
现了一些小状况让我感到很气。。。然后等车等了很久,等到饭菜都凉了。。。真
是气人。。。

自从我回到新加坡之后,我的每一天都不好过。。。每晚都是以泪洗脸。。。我好
想回三亚。。。因为在三亚,我没那样痛苦。。。



i can't be hurt anymore... because i don't have the courage and the will to continue living anymore... i have fought for 20 years and i'm just very tired...
我的弱小的心不可以再被别人弄伤了。。。因为我快没勇气,没能力活下去了。。。
我已经奋斗了20年,已经很累很累了。。。


XOXO


Monday, January 12, 2009

in the chaos
在混乱中



stupid skin allergy is back for weeks already... went to the doctor and he said that it caused by the change in environment and lifestyle... sigh... i guess not only my mind is not used to the change, my poor body is still not used to Singapore...

grandma is admitted into hospital again yesterday for having water in her lungs... well, some complications here and there so need to admit her... but she is much better today after all the medication and stuff...

i really wish that grandma will get well soon... i know that her heart is not functioning well now... but i really wish for her to be there at my wedding... to be one of the first few to hold my kids... i want to teach my kids hokkien so that they can talk to her and call her Ah Chor/Chor Chor (great grandma)...

i won't know how to cope is my grandma leaves me... i know she is old and dying is part and parcel of life... but... grandma is very dear to me...

well, due to pressure and tension yesterday at the A&E, i almost broke down... but i tried my very best to stay strong... for my grandma, for my panicky brother Matthew and for myself... sucking back all the tears and mucus (not as disgusting as it sounds), i stood firm and stayed very calm...

daddy and my youngest brother Malcolm came at the very last point and only did the admin stuff before we left... braving all these alone is very scary...


讨厌的皮肤过敏又回来了。。。看了医生,医生说是因为环境的改变,生活习惯的改
变而造成的。。。叹气。。。我看不只是我的头脑不适应,我的身体也不适应。。。

外婆昨天又进医院了。。。因为发现她的肺里有水。。。 可是她现在好多了。。。

我真的希望外婆能快一点好起来。。。我知道她的心脏慢慢的变弱了。。。可是我
真的希望外婆能看到我结婚的那一天。。。我要外婆抱抱我的孩子。。。要她教我
的孩子福建话,要我的孩子叫她Ah Chor/Chor Chor。。。

如果有一天外婆离开我,我真的不懂怎么去面对一切。。。 我知道生老病死是很正
常。。。但是。。。我很爱我的外婆。。。

昨天在急诊室的时候,我差点崩溃。。。可是我很努力的变强。。。为了外婆为了
紧张的弟弟,为了我自己。。。我把眼泪都吸进去。。。 很镇定的站在那里。。。

爸爸是过了很久才到医院。。。因为他要去接弟弟。。。来了之后就签名然后我们
就先回去了。。。一个人面对一切真的很恐怖。。。


XOXO


Saturday, January 10, 2009

DATES

14th September 2008...
with smiles and laughter...

22nd October 2008...
when i end my search for prince charming...

21st December 2008...
my world came crashing down on my birthday...

23rd December 2008...
the start of my painful heartache...

10 January 2009...
we celebrate our 80days of happiness...


XOXO


Friday, January 09, 2009

我真的很想早点定我回三亚的机票。。。我真想回到老公的身边。。。


XOXO


Wednesday, January 07, 2009

as long as i hold on, there is HOPE
只要我不放弃,那一定会有希望的




it will never be the same again,
things that changed will not regain its vintage value;
just like a plaster after use.

the pain, the sufferings,
and all that is attached to these deciding strings;
you will hear as i drag them along with me.

the tunnel is long,
and it feels so empty;
because there is simply no one but me.

you may hear my cries and plead,
but who will truly set me free?

turning the clock is an impossible thing,
a task that can never be accomplished;
but i wish, i wish.

i sing, i dance no more,
as my joy walks out that door.
it could only possibly be,
that nothing is left within me.

i pray that it would not be for eternity,
that these things continue to capture me.
i did not regret the decisions i made,
because i see greater things instead.

这已经不像从前,
东西一旦变了就找不回自己的价值;
就像用过的疮口贴。

这些痛,这些伤,
还有所有被牵连在一起的决定;
你会听见我托着它们走。

这个地道很长,
也感觉很空;
因为只有我一个人在那。

你能听到我的哭声,
但是谁能来帮我呢?

想把时间倒流,
这是一个不可能的任务;
但是我希望。

我不唱,不舞,
但我不后悔;
因为我知道为了将来这是值得的。


XOXO


Sunday, January 04, 2009


Look at how he captured my heart...




i don't know what to say now... will blog again after the very important "life-changing"dinner tomorrow...


XOXO


Thursday, January 01, 2009

Cinderella's day out!
灰姑娘终于休假了!


Hello 2009! Well, i didn't welcome the year with a bright and cheery fireworks-filled night... in fact it was one spent soaking in tears... the cruel reality of life totally destroyed my dreams for the year...

being far away from my love didn't help in this situation... we wanted to spend christmas and new year together, counting down and all... well... it just adds in more and more sad-factors...

slowly, i lack the confident for this relationship... not that i don't trust him, but i don't trust myself... i don't know if i can handle not seeing him for half a year... i don't know if i can still stay sane when i can't hear his voice... i don't know anymore...

anyways, i finally had my day out... went out with Coral, Jossie and Isaac... had cakes and tea at Dempsy Hill... a place where you can spot the "rich and famous"... PS Cafe really have yummy cakes... after eating, we went round town to take a look at expensive houses... places like Nassim Road have super nice houses... houses that have many, and i mean MANY expensive cars...

then we had dinner with Gaius, Nelson, Ade and Colin at Block 85... it was nice to just come out and relax... tomorrow will be the start of my battle... school starts for my brothers, Marcus and Malcolm... which means, i have to wake up at 6am, prepare breakfast etc and send them to school... then head for the market... then home and start preparing for lunch and whatnots...

the life of cinderella resumes... well, hubby often encourage me by saying that these are part of my "perfect wife and mother" training... haha... not funny at all... oh well, it's my life... if i don't do it, who will?

i don't expect people to understand what i'm going through because they don't... they may try to sympatize but that doesn't help...

recently i watched a taiwanese drama and i really feel as if i'm the lead character... a "post-it girl"... a girl who do her best to please others so as to be noticed by others... i don't want to be like that forever... again i repeat myself, i don't want to be a wallpaper... i don't want to just exist...

what's my dream?


2009年你好!没有烟火,没有欢笑;我是苦着迎接新的一年。。。因为残酷的现实摧
毁了我的梦。。。

不能和老公一起过年真的让人感到很伤心。。。原本想一起度过圣诞和元旦的。。。
现在不但我是一个人,老公也是一个人。。。一点喜气也没有。。。

慢慢的,我开始对我们之间的感情没有信心了。。。我不是不相信老公。。。我是
不相信自己了。。。我不知道可不可以等半年。。。不知道我会不会因为听不到老
公的声音而疯掉。。。我已经不知道了。。。

今天,我终于能和朋友一起出去,透透气。。。到了Dempsy Hill,吃了很好吃的蛋
糕。。。在那里你能找到有钱,有名的大人物。。。吃了蛋糕之后,我们开车到新
加坡很有钱的地方。。。看看大房子,看看豪华汽车。。。

能够出来感觉很好。。。明天起我就要开始奋斗了。。。因为弟弟都要上学,所以
我一早就要起床准备早餐,送他们上学然后去买菜。。。之后还要做家务。。。

灰姑娘又要开始过没有王子的每一天。。。虽然老公天天都鼓励我说这些是为了让
我学习怎么当一个好太太,好妈妈的过程。。。(叹气)如果我不做,谁会做?

最近我看了一部偶像剧,里面的女主角跟我很像。。。是一个“便利贴”女孩。。。
因为想让别人注意她,她很努力的为别人做事。。。我不希望永远是这样。。。我
不想一辈子做一个不起眼的人。。。

我的梦想到底是什么?


XOXO