Monday, April 30, 2007
the Lord is my banner... my victory
time and time again, God proves to me that He reigns and He's in control of every situation... i just pray that i will grow so much more as i step up and take up leadership roles... no matter what may come in my way, i will not pray that God will take it away... but i will pray that God will teach me how to overcome it...
dance exhortation was good i guess... it's really God speaking... cause i don't even know what i'm saying at that point in time... dance practise at the studio was good... even though Hosea was not around, we still practise hard and work hard together... which is GOOD
went to BEER for dinner/supper... ate KFC... hahah... just feel like it =)
lecture at 9am tmr.... and all the way till 6pm... oh Lord, give me strength...
p.s: i miss you so so much...
the people in my life:
that's colin... sleeping after lunch
shenna... my lil' sister... love her to bits
sunday afternoon in the youthroom
mish babe and gina
ben and char...
our dearest dance administrator, Nelson
time and time again, God proves to me that He reigns and He's in control of every situation... i just pray that i will grow so much more as i step up and take up leadership roles... no matter what may come in my way, i will not pray that God will take it away... but i will pray that God will teach me how to overcome it...
dance exhortation was good i guess... it's really God speaking... cause i don't even know what i'm saying at that point in time... dance practise at the studio was good... even though Hosea was not around, we still practise hard and work hard together... which is GOOD
went to BEER for dinner/supper... ate KFC... hahah... just feel like it =)
lecture at 9am tmr.... and all the way till 6pm... oh Lord, give me strength...
p.s: i miss you so so much...
the people in my life:
that's colin... sleeping after lunch
shenna... my lil' sister... love her to bits
sunday afternoon in the youthroom
mish babe and gina
ben and char...our dearest dance administrator, Nelsonisaac and his mop...
Labels: miss you...
XOXO
Sunday, April 29, 2007
frantic
hahaha... my first day as L.A Unit head... haha... suppose to do up the L.A Logistics corner and stuff... i didn't wanna like get every single one down, so i choose the 4 peeps... Sunny, Colin, Ian and Ben L...
BUT
only my dearest Colin and my unsound Sunny appeared... ahhaha... we clear the youthroom... try to make it neater and cleaner... then i went for music prac... it's cool
shared for YA pre-service prayer... ahhaha... quite funny cause half of the time i don't know what i'm saying... hahaha... God just pop in ideas and stuff... hahaha
service was awesome awesome... mind blowing... hahha... ate chicken rice from Tua Kong for dinner... ahhaha... Livia had to work so she didn't come for service... so i took over the cell...
it's sunday... hahahah... busy busy busy... hahaha
p.s: i didn't know you're so important to me
i'm still so fat... hahah... need to LOSE WEIGHT! hahahha
Labels: =)
XOXO
Saturday, April 28, 2007
smiley face
i'm not sad or anything... hahaha... i know that everything is going according to God's plan... so i'm happy... i thank God that He is in control of everything... from my life - school, family, ministry and social life... everything is God-driven... so it's all good =)
if i don't smile, or when i keep quiet, it's just that i'm tired... hahaha... not emo... ahhaha... so don't worry ya?
during music prac, we watched the new Hillsong United DVD... it's super good... it's awesome awesome... God spoke and confirm stuff which i don't think it's coincidental... it's all in God's own timing...
after music prac, we went to simpang for dinner/supper... hahah... bus 10 took forever to come... hahahah... and finally we had our food and sat down and talk for a bit... hahah... then took cab home with Coral...
gonna wake up early tmr... have to be in church at 11am for L.A ... then at 1pm, there's music prac for YA... then all the way till prayer and then service and then dinner and then home... ahahah... long day ahead, but it's gonna be GOOD =)
God is still awesome and He deserve all the praise and glory
snow white? i'm not that fair lah... hahah... but i love the contrast... black hair and fair skin...
Labels: giving You praise
XOXO
Ganbatte, Chuan
woke up like 9:50am this morning and sms Bel for the WHO'S ADAM contest.. hahaha... then when it's 1000hrs, i quickly sms... hahaha... so kiasu... like as if my answer is correct... ahhahah
then bum around till 1 plus... change and went to Pasir Ris to send Chuan off... hahaha... chuan sms me at 1415 and say that he have to go in already... i panick! hahahah... cause i'm still on the train at Tampines... hahaha... so when the train reach Pasir Ris, i ran all the way to the interchange lah... hahaha...
it was raining somemore... almost slip and fall and died... hahaha... then i saw a toot toot chuan standing there with his adidas bag... hahaha... quite funny lah... hahah... cause he wore his maroon polo tee with jeans... then have to tuck the shirt in, so IMAGINE with me... chuan in his maroon polo tee tucked in with his jeans and leather belt... oh oh, he button up his collar too... hahaha
super funny... wanted to like laugh and make fun of him but his parents were there... hahah... was the only one there lah... talk to him then after a while he had to go in... so he went in with his parents... i just stood there and look at him... hahaha... then decided to go off... then his bus came... and then just nice after his bus left, bus 12 came...
took bus 12 to church... hmmmm... 40 mins... hahaha... it was cool... just listening to praise & worship songs... ahhaha...
when i reach church, i saw Roland... so i sat down and talk to him... yippy! Roland is now my mentor... this journey will be tough but it will make me strong... i will be a strong maddy...
then after talking to Roland, i went to talk to Pastor Mark... hahaha... a day with the Cloud and Chief Youth Leader... but it's cool... i'm gonna love this season of my life... because i'm walking in God's will...
there's music meeting later at 7:30pm... then simpang for supper with coralicious and the musicians... hahah... L.A meeting tmr... don't know what time... hahaha... to be confirmed...
Our boy is going to be a man... haha... 7 weeks of BMT...
this is part of the letter i wrote for Chuan... hahah... L.A peeps i rmb to include you =)
that's the bus that brought the NS boys and their parents to Tekong... hahah
it rained non-stop...
woke up like 9:50am this morning and sms Bel for the WHO'S ADAM contest.. hahaha... then when it's 1000hrs, i quickly sms... hahaha... so kiasu... like as if my answer is correct... ahhahah
then bum around till 1 plus... change and went to Pasir Ris to send Chuan off... hahaha... chuan sms me at 1415 and say that he have to go in already... i panick! hahahah... cause i'm still on the train at Tampines... hahaha... so when the train reach Pasir Ris, i ran all the way to the interchange lah... hahaha...
it was raining somemore... almost slip and fall and died... hahaha... then i saw a toot toot chuan standing there with his adidas bag... hahaha... quite funny lah... hahah... cause he wore his maroon polo tee with jeans... then have to tuck the shirt in, so IMAGINE with me... chuan in his maroon polo tee tucked in with his jeans and leather belt... oh oh, he button up his collar too... hahaha
super funny... wanted to like laugh and make fun of him but his parents were there... hahah... was the only one there lah... talk to him then after a while he had to go in... so he went in with his parents... i just stood there and look at him... hahaha... then decided to go off... then his bus came... and then just nice after his bus left, bus 12 came...
took bus 12 to church... hmmmm... 40 mins... hahaha... it was cool... just listening to praise & worship songs... ahhaha...
when i reach church, i saw Roland... so i sat down and talk to him... yippy! Roland is now my mentor... this journey will be tough but it will make me strong... i will be a strong maddy...
then after talking to Roland, i went to talk to Pastor Mark... hahaha... a day with the Cloud and Chief Youth Leader... but it's cool... i'm gonna love this season of my life... because i'm walking in God's will...
there's music meeting later at 7:30pm... then simpang for supper with coralicious and the musicians... hahah... L.A meeting tmr... don't know what time... hahaha... to be confirmed...
Our boy is going to be a man... haha... 7 weeks of BMT...
this is part of the letter i wrote for Chuan... hahah... L.A peeps i rmb to include you =)
that's the bus that brought the NS boys and their parents to Tekong... hahah
it rained non-stop... Labels: i'm gonna praise Him
XOXO
Friday, April 27, 2007
i choose to give praise because He deserve it
just came home from school.... had my japanese lesson... super funny... my sensei's name is Suzuki Yayoi... she's a very unique lady, i would say... hahaha... my classmates... hmmm... from different school... some from Applied Science... some from IT... some from Engineering school and of course Business...
they are rather quiet and clique-ish... but ok lah... hahah... my teacher can't stop saying "hai" and "desu ka"... not quite used to it lah... but it's cool... can't wait to learn more stuff...
i'm super hungry and sleepy... so i will go take my dinner... sleeping early??? don't even need to think about it lah... hahah
maddy love to spend time with God =)
just came home from school.... had my japanese lesson... super funny... my sensei's name is Suzuki Yayoi... she's a very unique lady, i would say... hahaha... my classmates... hmmm... from different school... some from Applied Science... some from IT... some from Engineering school and of course Business...
they are rather quiet and clique-ish... but ok lah... hahah... my teacher can't stop saying "hai" and "desu ka"... not quite used to it lah... but it's cool... can't wait to learn more stuff...
i'm super hungry and sleepy... so i will go take my dinner... sleeping early??? don't even need to think about it lah... hahah
maddy love to spend time with God =)
Meet The Robinsons... the uber cool family...
now brace yourselves...
here i present to you
:
Meet The L.A Family 
odette is missing from the picture cause i don't have his photo :p
somehow i really love this family... i really do...
Labels: love God so so much
XOXO
i must be stronger
sorry for the whole emo post last night... it was just the stupid maddy... hahah... well, i guess i have lots of bad points to work on... lots of them...
after blogging last night Chuan chatted with me on MSN... thank God for him, knock some sense into me... i'm so silly lah... but i thankfully it's not over the phone or face to face... hahha... behind the computer screen, you can cry and the person you're talking to won't know...
hahah... yes, i cried... big time... hahha... trying to hold back my tears but cannot so i cried non-stop... it was tough cause i cannot cry out loud cause my mum fell asleep on the sofa, so if i'm too loud, she will hear me...
after a whole cry cry and Chuan's attempt to encourage me (or at least i think he is), i felt so much better...
after Chuan went to bed, i went to read my bible and went to bed at around 2am... woke up at 7am and was super sleepy... the weather is so nice to sleep in but i have lecture at 9am... so i drag myself off the bed...
9am - Accounting Lecture...
super boring... i tired so hard to focus and concentrate, and yes i paid attention... hahah... manage to understand everything that was taught... the teacher is so so wierd... hahah... he looks like a primary school teacher from the 1970s... his hair style, his clothes and the way he speak... hahah
went for lunch after lecture... and here i am, alone in TP Library blogging because my friend, Monica decided to abandon me and go home... hahha... oh well, time pass so so slow lah... hahaha... i will think of ways to entertain myself... muhahaha
shoutout to Chuan:
wo bu yao chuan qu zhuo lao... shuo yi chuan yao qu NS... wo hui xiang ni de... fang xin, wo bu hui fang qi de... xie xie ni, chuan...
ying wei ni rang wo gan shou dao shi shang hai you ren quan xin wo
sorry for the whole emo post last night... it was just the stupid maddy... hahah... well, i guess i have lots of bad points to work on... lots of them...
after blogging last night Chuan chatted with me on MSN... thank God for him, knock some sense into me... i'm so silly lah... but i thankfully it's not over the phone or face to face... hahha... behind the computer screen, you can cry and the person you're talking to won't know...
hahah... yes, i cried... big time... hahha... trying to hold back my tears but cannot so i cried non-stop... it was tough cause i cannot cry out loud cause my mum fell asleep on the sofa, so if i'm too loud, she will hear me...
after a whole cry cry and Chuan's attempt to encourage me (or at least i think he is), i felt so much better...
after Chuan went to bed, i went to read my bible and went to bed at around 2am... woke up at 7am and was super sleepy... the weather is so nice to sleep in but i have lecture at 9am... so i drag myself off the bed...
9am - Accounting Lecture...
super boring... i tired so hard to focus and concentrate, and yes i paid attention... hahah... manage to understand everything that was taught... the teacher is so so wierd... hahah... he looks like a primary school teacher from the 1970s... his hair style, his clothes and the way he speak... hahah
went for lunch after lecture... and here i am, alone in TP Library blogging because my friend, Monica decided to abandon me and go home... hahha... oh well, time pass so so slow lah... hahaha... i will think of ways to entertain myself... muhahaha
shoutout to Chuan:
wo bu yao chuan qu zhuo lao... shuo yi chuan yao qu NS... wo hui xiang ni de... fang xin, wo bu hui fang qi de... xie xie ni, chuan...
ying wei ni rang wo gan shou dao shi shang hai you ren quan xin wo
Labels: chuan... xie xie ni
XOXO
Thursday, April 26, 2007
my ministry, my family
i thank God for L.A Unit... it's one family that i truely love... the FATHER of the unit, Shaun... then Brother Chuan inherit the unit from dad... then we have the siblings... lots of them... all of different shapes and sizes... and of course very different characters and personalities...
i love them so so much lah... every single one of them... so so precious to me...
soon, Brother Chuan will put on his black speedo and go into NS... so L.A will be kinda runned by me and colin will be assisting me... well, the way i feel is very wierd... it's complicated lah... the main comm feels that i'm not good enough to run the ministry... so according to dad, i'm the FACILITATOR... oh well...
after i heard that... i was... rather upset... well, to be frank i was super duper upset... CRUSHED BEYOND HOPE... thoughts of "why choose me if i'm not good?" starts popping in my head... i will never be as good as dad or brother chuan... NEVER
that's not the emo maddy typing... but me... i can never be as good as them... dad created L.A Unit... brother chuan brought L.A Unit into greater heights... me??? what can i do???
i seriously don't know how it's gonna work... i'm just so smashed.... finally found a word that describes me now... SMASHED
anyways back to whatever i was saying... i went to watch MEET THE ROBINSONS... it's such a nice movie... almost wanted to cry... hahha... maddy is such a fool... so emotional one... idiot
after that we went to BK for dinner... ate and came home.. blah blah blah
school is gonna start at 9am tmr... so i will try to sleep early which i think is impossible lah...
p.s: maddy needs some loving, hugs and encouragements...
my lil' bro, Ben... and lil' sister, Shenna... both are my sweethearts
the joy of my life is to see these 2 jokers fight...
they are my precious... colin, sean lee, ben, shenna
my Xiao Ben...
that's Ben trying to act cool... super funny
i thank God for L.A Unit... it's one family that i truely love... the FATHER of the unit, Shaun... then Brother Chuan inherit the unit from dad... then we have the siblings... lots of them... all of different shapes and sizes... and of course very different characters and personalities...
i love them so so much lah... every single one of them... so so precious to me...
soon, Brother Chuan will put on his black speedo and go into NS... so L.A will be kinda runned by me and colin will be assisting me... well, the way i feel is very wierd... it's complicated lah... the main comm feels that i'm not good enough to run the ministry... so according to dad, i'm the FACILITATOR... oh well...
after i heard that... i was... rather upset... well, to be frank i was super duper upset... CRUSHED BEYOND HOPE... thoughts of "why choose me if i'm not good?" starts popping in my head... i will never be as good as dad or brother chuan... NEVER
that's not the emo maddy typing... but me... i can never be as good as them... dad created L.A Unit... brother chuan brought L.A Unit into greater heights... me??? what can i do???
i seriously don't know how it's gonna work... i'm just so smashed.... finally found a word that describes me now... SMASHED
anyways back to whatever i was saying... i went to watch MEET THE ROBINSONS... it's such a nice movie... almost wanted to cry... hahha... maddy is such a fool... so emotional one... idiot
after that we went to BK for dinner... ate and came home.. blah blah blah
school is gonna start at 9am tmr... so i will try to sleep early which i think is impossible lah...
p.s: maddy needs some loving, hugs and encouragements...
my lil' bro, Ben... and lil' sister, Shenna... both are my sweethearts
the joy of my life is to see these 2 jokers fight...
they are my precious... colin, sean lee, ben, shenna
my Xiao Ben...
that's Ben trying to act cool... super funnyLabels: my family, my ministry
XOXO
how awesome...
the 12 names of God
1) Elohim - The Creator
Genesis 1:1
2) Jehovah - The one who make covenants
Genesis 2, 6
3) El Shadai - The Lord Almighty (the one who fulfills the covenants & supplies your NEEDS)
Genesis 17
4) Adonai - My lord, my owner
Genesis 18
5) Jehovah Jireh - My provider (with Vision comes Provision of wants & desires)
Genesis 22
6) Jehovah Rophe - Healer
Exodus 15:26, Psalm 105:37
7) Jehovah Nissi - The Lord is my victory
Victory follows the supernatural
8) Jehovah M'kaddeh - Sanctifier
9) Jehovah Tzedkennu - The Lord is my righteousness
10) Jehovah Shalom - Peace
11) Jehovah Rohi - The Lord is my Shepherd
Psalm 23
12) Jehovah Shammah - The Lord & glory shall be there
Ezekiel 48
My prayer:
Lord, KILL ME so that i can be MADE NEW... so that i can SEE YOU...
so that i can have ANNOITING, have VICTORY...
so that i can be MADE HOLY & RIGHTEOUS...
Lord, be my PEACE & MY SHEPHERD...
lead me into YOUR GLORY...
the 12 names of God
1) Elohim - The Creator
Genesis 1:1
2) Jehovah - The one who make covenants
Genesis 2, 6
3) El Shadai - The Lord Almighty (the one who fulfills the covenants & supplies your NEEDS)
Genesis 17
4) Adonai - My lord, my owner
Genesis 18
5) Jehovah Jireh - My provider (with Vision comes Provision of wants & desires)
Genesis 22
6) Jehovah Rophe - Healer
Exodus 15:26, Psalm 105:37
7) Jehovah Nissi - The Lord is my victory
Victory follows the supernatural
8) Jehovah M'kaddeh - Sanctifier
9) Jehovah Tzedkennu - The Lord is my righteousness
10) Jehovah Shalom - Peace
11) Jehovah Rohi - The Lord is my Shepherd
Psalm 23
12) Jehovah Shammah - The Lord & glory shall be there
Ezekiel 48
My prayer:
Lord, KILL ME so that i can be MADE NEW... so that i can SEE YOU...
so that i can have ANNOITING, have VICTORY...
so that i can be MADE HOLY & RIGHTEOUS...
Lord, be my PEACE & MY SHEPHERD...
lead me into YOUR GLORY...
Labels: the 12 names of God
XOXO
put a smile on my face
woke up with a bad headache... but i still went for lectures... today was ok i guess... school is just simply tiring...
Japanese lecture...
Travel & Tour Operation lecture...
Business Ettiquette lecture...
busy busy busy
trying to make myself busy so that i won't think of that someone...
gonna go listen to sermon now... then go for L.A Unit prayer... then movies... yippy :)
woke up with a bad headache... but i still went for lectures... today was ok i guess... school is just simply tiring...
Japanese lecture...
Travel & Tour Operation lecture...
Business Ettiquette lecture...
busy busy busy
trying to make myself busy so that i won't think of that someone...
gonna go listen to sermon now... then go for L.A Unit prayer... then movies... yippy :)
Labels: God kept me sound
XOXO
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
at times i still feel the love for you,
it's quite hard to stop loving you...
despite trying to be closer to God,
i still do feel lonely...
like how you can be around people,
and yet feel alone and outcast...
human being human will seek companionship...
i will never stop trying... i will go all out to do what God have intended...
for me.... and you
whether to walk this dirt road alone or not,
i will still move on...
maddy tells maddy:
stupid girl, stop thinking about him... stop it... you're only hurting yourself and no one else...
come on, smile?
maddy tries to smile...
don't cry maddy
it's quite hard to stop loving you...
despite trying to be closer to God,
i still do feel lonely...
like how you can be around people,
and yet feel alone and outcast...
human being human will seek companionship...
i will never stop trying... i will go all out to do what God have intended...
for me.... and you
whether to walk this dirt road alone or not,
i will still move on...
maddy tells maddy:
stupid girl, stop thinking about him... stop it... you're only hurting yourself and no one else...
come on, smile?
maddy tries to smile...
don't cry maddy
Labels: maddy*
XOXO
YOU'RE LATE!
I DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT FRINGE...IS YOUR SHOE SHINY?
HURRY UP!!!!
TRYING TO BE FASHIONABLE IS IT?I DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT EVER AGAIN
as quoted by my Service Skills Methodology Subject Leader... he's a super duper fierce man... a comparison, he is like Roland + Ps Mark during ACENSION X5... it's madness lor...
only slept for less than 2 hours... after ironing my uniform and chatting on MSN, i decided to sleep at 2am... but i can't... toss and turn and toss and turn... then i decided to pray... i think i prayed for almost 1 hour... then i finally can sleep... but it didn't last for long... i woke up at 4:26am... it was pure madness
so i bathe, change and tie my hair... put on make-up etc etc... then leave house at 6:30am... thank God i was early... otherwise i will be scolded up down left right by the teachers... i got scolded quite badly for some stuff lah... hahah
anyways, it was cool lah... learn how to cork and uncork a wine bottle... i manage to take only 12 seconds to uncork... the record time is 11.8 seconds... cool huh? we also learn how to pour wine into glasses without any spillage... then we learn about table setting and how to take orders... and how to clear tables... it's cool lah
i thank God for nice friends... they are fun and friendly...
really wanna thank God for so so many things... things are starting to look better because of KINGDOM PERSPECTIVE! looking at things from God's view and then learning how to surrender and trust God fully...
p.s: i will miss you when you're gone,
but i know that God have GREAT & AWESOME plans in store for you...
just want to let you know that i'm cheering you on...
JIA YOU, JIA YOU =)
taken in the toilet... ahhaha... i look like some security personnel.. hhahaha
my nametag... ahhaha
a room for us to put our bags...
where it all begins...
after a long day... *stoning in the bus* Labels: SSM Practical
XOXO
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
praise God for everything
first day of school.... hahha... it's ok... my new classmate... hmmmm... quite ok... the girls are friendly and nice but the guys are.... oh well... hahhaha
after school, i took bus 12 to bugis for Ying Chuan's farewell dinner... i love long bus rides... hahha... for me, it's a special time i spend with God whenever i'm alone... plug in my ipod and just let God speak to me... after that i feel inspired to draw... so i took out my notebook and started drawing... hahah
was the first to reach bugis mrt station... after a while, Nelson came... then Ying Chuan... then Marcus Goh... then Winnie... then Coral and Michelle Lam... we made our way to the dinner place... it's called Zheng Zhong Chong Qing Steamboat... hahahha...
goodness... it's super duper warm lah... the "steam" kept coming my direction... goodness... like sauna... hahahha... oh, Isaac, Bel, Roland, Jossie and Stephen were there too... dinner was fun... and i ate so so much lah...
Coral, Michelle Lam and Nelson went home early cause they were tired... but the rest went to Arab Street for Teh Tarik... hahha... sat down and chit chat... then we realise that it's time to go home... so we went home... hahah
it's gonna be a long day tmr... hahaha... meeting my classmate in school at 7:30am... for that subject, we have to wear our service uniform, with court shoes and stockings and put on MAKE UP... goodness... can you imagine what time i need to wake up??? hahah
it's gonna be a great week... i know it will be because i choose to praise God first...
p.s: i know that it's the right thing to do when i decided to give it up to God...
the best choice...
it still hurt a lil'...
but i know that God knows what is best for me and you =)
i wonder why i'm not doing fashion design??? hahhaha...
teh tarik??? hahahha...
first day of school.... hahha... it's ok... my new classmate... hmmmm... quite ok... the girls are friendly and nice but the guys are.... oh well... hahhaha
after school, i took bus 12 to bugis for Ying Chuan's farewell dinner... i love long bus rides... hahha... for me, it's a special time i spend with God whenever i'm alone... plug in my ipod and just let God speak to me... after that i feel inspired to draw... so i took out my notebook and started drawing... hahah
was the first to reach bugis mrt station... after a while, Nelson came... then Ying Chuan... then Marcus Goh... then Winnie... then Coral and Michelle Lam... we made our way to the dinner place... it's called Zheng Zhong Chong Qing Steamboat... hahahha...
goodness... it's super duper warm lah... the "steam" kept coming my direction... goodness... like sauna... hahahha... oh, Isaac, Bel, Roland, Jossie and Stephen were there too... dinner was fun... and i ate so so much lah...
Coral, Michelle Lam and Nelson went home early cause they were tired... but the rest went to Arab Street for Teh Tarik... hahha... sat down and chit chat... then we realise that it's time to go home... so we went home... hahah
it's gonna be a long day tmr... hahaha... meeting my classmate in school at 7:30am... for that subject, we have to wear our service uniform, with court shoes and stockings and put on MAKE UP... goodness... can you imagine what time i need to wake up??? hahah
it's gonna be a great week... i know it will be because i choose to praise God first...
p.s: i know that it's the right thing to do when i decided to give it up to God...
the best choice...
it still hurt a lil'...
but i know that God knows what is best for me and you =)
i wonder why i'm not doing fashion design??? hahhaha...
teh tarik??? hahahha...Labels: praise God for everything
XOXO
Monday, April 23, 2007
i'm not gonna pretend and say that i'm ok,
because i'm not.......
i'm human, so i have my happy & hyper days as well as the days when i'm just sad and down...
it was a hard day for me... didn't sleep much last night... as you can see, i was wide awake at 2:06am... hmm... i didn't sleep till about 5am??? around there lah... thought of lots of things... prayed real hard, talk to God etc etc...
woke up at 8am for church... satan is not gonna let me go, for sure... forever putting stuff in my head... but i choose to stay close to God... went to church, had breakfast then went for service... praise and worship was good...
to me, putting on a garment of praise is not as easy as it seems... but i know that God never fails... i know that He's faithful and i know that all things will work well for those who love Him...
Pastor Mark's sermon just confirmed what God told me at 5am... Matthew 6:33... to seek His kingdom and righteousness FIRST...
after service, went to KFC to get lunch... thought that our missions meeting will start at 2pm, so we take-away our food but it was push back by half an hour... then me and ying chuan saw my parents and brothers having lunch at Tua Kong... so daddy decided to drop us off at church before bring my brothers to the library... we ate our lunch and had our meeting... it was funny... we were all mad and crazy... hahaha...
then went for dance... well to be frank, i didn't feel like dancing at all... but i thought that working out and doing all the crazy stuff will help to make me feel better... hahah... well, IT DID NOT WORK...
doing all those killer abs... and push up... stretching... blah blah blah... so i finally decided to plug into my ipod and listen to some worship song... took my jacket and covered my face... the song played.... at the cross
tears started rolling down my face... i can't stop, can't help it... after the crying session, i felt a lil' better... then i went to mop the BASC with Rayvin... then i went to studio... was rather quiet during sharing cause emotionally not right... so i better keep quiet...
and once again, i tried to kill myself with physical stuff... doing abs... push ups... do and do and do... then dance dance dance... well, it manage to keep my mind focus on God and dance... well, true friends can sense it when you're sad...
i thank God for coral and shenna... for just being there for me... and so crying session 2 begins... ahhaha
i'm such a cry baby lah... hahah... i rmb sarah lin used to tell me that God collects all the tears that we cried and keep them in bottles... i bet mine will not be a bottle... mine will not be a bucket... mine will be a ocean... ahhaha... hahahhaha
during studio, we learn Vicky's routine and a routine that Hosea learn from O'School... it's super drama... but i like it... i guess dance is my passion and i will do it for God... even if it's just a training slot...
after dance, we went to BEER for dinner... hahah... it was fun... sitting down and chat... then took bus 14 with Coral and shenna...
THERE'S SCHOOL TOMORROW... like goodness... i don't want it.... at all... i will try to sleep tonight or else maddy will seriously turn into a zombie... hahah... running on NO SLEEP... hahaha
p.s: a note to that special someone...
it's just me... fighting my mind, fighting my heart...
if you ever think that it's your fault or anything,
well it's not...
it's just me... and me from the start...
so never feel bad...
just wanna say that you're an awesome friend...
sorry that i have to blog it because i will never find the courage to tell you this...
because i'm not.......
i'm human, so i have my happy & hyper days as well as the days when i'm just sad and down...
it was a hard day for me... didn't sleep much last night... as you can see, i was wide awake at 2:06am... hmm... i didn't sleep till about 5am??? around there lah... thought of lots of things... prayed real hard, talk to God etc etc...
woke up at 8am for church... satan is not gonna let me go, for sure... forever putting stuff in my head... but i choose to stay close to God... went to church, had breakfast then went for service... praise and worship was good...
to me, putting on a garment of praise is not as easy as it seems... but i know that God never fails... i know that He's faithful and i know that all things will work well for those who love Him...
Pastor Mark's sermon just confirmed what God told me at 5am... Matthew 6:33... to seek His kingdom and righteousness FIRST...
after service, went to KFC to get lunch... thought that our missions meeting will start at 2pm, so we take-away our food but it was push back by half an hour... then me and ying chuan saw my parents and brothers having lunch at Tua Kong... so daddy decided to drop us off at church before bring my brothers to the library... we ate our lunch and had our meeting... it was funny... we were all mad and crazy... hahaha...
then went for dance... well to be frank, i didn't feel like dancing at all... but i thought that working out and doing all the crazy stuff will help to make me feel better... hahah... well, IT DID NOT WORK...
doing all those killer abs... and push up... stretching... blah blah blah... so i finally decided to plug into my ipod and listen to some worship song... took my jacket and covered my face... the song played.... at the cross
tears started rolling down my face... i can't stop, can't help it... after the crying session, i felt a lil' better... then i went to mop the BASC with Rayvin... then i went to studio... was rather quiet during sharing cause emotionally not right... so i better keep quiet...
and once again, i tried to kill myself with physical stuff... doing abs... push ups... do and do and do... then dance dance dance... well, it manage to keep my mind focus on God and dance... well, true friends can sense it when you're sad...
i thank God for coral and shenna... for just being there for me... and so crying session 2 begins... ahhaha
i'm such a cry baby lah... hahah... i rmb sarah lin used to tell me that God collects all the tears that we cried and keep them in bottles... i bet mine will not be a bottle... mine will not be a bucket... mine will be a ocean... ahhaha... hahahhaha
during studio, we learn Vicky's routine and a routine that Hosea learn from O'School... it's super drama... but i like it... i guess dance is my passion and i will do it for God... even if it's just a training slot...
after dance, we went to BEER for dinner... hahah... it was fun... sitting down and chat... then took bus 14 with Coral and shenna...
THERE'S SCHOOL TOMORROW... like goodness... i don't want it.... at all... i will try to sleep tonight or else maddy will seriously turn into a zombie... hahah... running on NO SLEEP... hahaha
p.s: a note to that special someone...
it's just me... fighting my mind, fighting my heart...
if you ever think that it's your fault or anything,
well it's not...
it's just me... and me from the start...
so never feel bad...
just wanna say that you're an awesome friend...
sorry that i have to blog it because i will never find the courage to tell you this...
Labels: my heart bleeds
XOXO
Sunday, April 22, 2007
it's 2:06am
and i'm wide awake....
didn't know what to do... so i just stare at my laptop screen...
kinda prayed and talk to God...
kinda let Him know how i feel, even though He knew it already
lots of thoughts flying around...
well, i've decided something...
my decision is to LET GO...
to forget EVERYTHING and try to turn things back into how it was since the start of 2007 when it all began...
it's gonna be tough...
it's gonna hurt...
there will be tears...
but it's ok....
because i have decided to stop everything,
because i have decided to end this loving...
comforting myself,
repeating God's promises over and over again in my head
p.s: i have to pay the price of wearing my heart on my sleeve
and i'm wide awake....
didn't know what to do... so i just stare at my laptop screen...
kinda prayed and talk to God...
kinda let Him know how i feel, even though He knew it already
lots of thoughts flying around...
well, i've decided something...
my decision is to LET GO...
to forget EVERYTHING and try to turn things back into how it was since the start of 2007 when it all began...
it's gonna be tough...
it's gonna hurt...
there will be tears...
but it's ok....
because i have decided to stop everything,
because i have decided to end this loving...
comforting myself,
repeating God's promises over and over again in my head
p.s: i have to pay the price of wearing my heart on my sleeve
Labels: maddy is a fool
XOXO
make my heart pure as gold
today is fun... super cool... bum around in the morning after feeling all emo and stuff last night... hahahha
then ate lunch and went to church for music prac... it was cool...
the band consist of:
Aiken (lead)
Alvin (lead guitar)
Melvin (2nd guitar)
Lucas (bass)
Meredith (drum)
Ying Chuan (back-up singer)
Me (back-up singer)
the songs are in A... goodness... i was like screaming/singing my lungs out... hahaha... super duper high lah... ahhaha... but it was a cool attempt... hahaha
it's gonna be sunday tmr... then school on monday... i don't really want school to start... sigh
p.s: i just wanna say that i love you
today is fun... super cool... bum around in the morning after feeling all emo and stuff last night... hahahha
then ate lunch and went to church for music prac... it was cool...
the band consist of:
Aiken (lead)
Alvin (lead guitar)
Melvin (2nd guitar)
Lucas (bass)
Meredith (drum)
Ying Chuan (back-up singer)
Me (back-up singer)
the songs are in A... goodness... i was like screaming/singing my lungs out... hahaha... super duper high lah... ahhaha... but it was a cool attempt... hahaha
it's gonna be sunday tmr... then school on monday... i don't really want school to start... sigh
p.s: i just wanna say that i love you
Labels: my desire
XOXO
God give me patience
Lord, i give You my heart, i give You my life.
I allow You to have Your way in my life.
Teach me, O Lord
Teach me how to truely surrender,
how to let You take Your rightful place in my life
No matter what, Lord let me seek You first...
Your kingdom & righteousness...
Lord, i give You my heart, i give You my life.
I allow You to have Your way in my life.
Teach me, O Lord
Teach me how to truely surrender,
how to let You take Your rightful place in my life
No matter what, Lord let me seek You first...
Your kingdom & righteousness...
Labels: =)
XOXO
Saturday, April 21, 2007
我猜不到你真正的感覺...
多希望你對我誠實...
一直愛著你,
用我自己的方式...
想對你說的,
想要給你的...
我在你的心裡有沒有一點特別
就怕你終究沒發現我還在你身邊...
從今以後, 让我偷偷愛你
hahaha... that's enough to my chinese blog... ahhaha... i just love chinese because it's more romantic and meaningful... hahah
anyways, we went to Cafe Cartel to celebrate Gabsy and one of the Bert brother's birthday... apparently Gaius and Isaac went to kidnap Gabsy from home... so they wrap towel and plug in ipod... then they put a jeans over his head and kidnap him to cafe cartel... ahhaha
it was funny lah... sat down... chit chat... read the articles on IS... super bizzare... ahhaha
nothing much happen today... just bum around... ahhah... oh well, i'm gonna be singing tomorrow... so will try to sleep early tonight (quite impossible)... ahhaha
coral and me with the suspicious person, Gabsy... with a jeans wrapped around his head... ahhah
多希望你對我誠實...
一直愛著你,
用我自己的方式...
想對你說的,
想要給你的...
我在你的心裡有沒有一點特別
就怕你終究沒發現我還在你身邊...
從今以後, 让我偷偷愛你
hahaha... that's enough to my chinese blog... ahhaha... i just love chinese because it's more romantic and meaningful... hahah
anyways, we went to Cafe Cartel to celebrate Gabsy and one of the Bert brother's birthday... apparently Gaius and Isaac went to kidnap Gabsy from home... so they wrap towel and plug in ipod... then they put a jeans over his head and kidnap him to cafe cartel... ahhaha
it was funny lah... sat down... chit chat... read the articles on IS... super bizzare... ahhaha
nothing much happen today... just bum around... ahhah... oh well, i'm gonna be singing tomorrow... so will try to sleep early tonight (quite impossible)... ahhaha
p.s: 还要多久我才能在你身边
coral and me with the suspicious person, Gabsy... with a jeans wrapped around his head... ahhah
Labels: HAPPY BIRTHDAY GABSY
XOXO
Friday, April 20, 2007
今天我想用中文来 blog...
这不是 code 也不是不想让其他人知道我的心事...
我好想承認我喜歡你, 但是我不敢告訴你...
我沒有勇氣.........
这感覺是又甜又酸,
又快樂又孤單...
这是我心里好久的秘密...
我想了又想,
知道不該再浪費力氣...
但是我多麼想陪着你走過everyday...
我想對你說:
我一直都在
你身後等待
等你有一天回過頭看我
我的笑送給你希望你快樂
妳的難過都給我
關於你的一切我都好好收藏着
我一直都在
你身後等待
等你有一天
能感覺到我
就算我在你世界渺小像一顆塵埃
我還是愛著你
这不是 code 也不是不想让其他人知道我的心事...
我好想承認我喜歡你, 但是我不敢告訴你...
我沒有勇氣.........
这感覺是又甜又酸,
又快樂又孤單...
这是我心里好久的秘密...
我想了又想,
知道不該再浪費力氣...
但是我多麼想陪着你走過everyday...
我想對你說:
我一直都在
你身後等待
等你有一天回過頭看我
我的笑送給你希望你快樂
妳的難過都給我
關於你的一切我都好好收藏着
我一直都在
你身後等待
等你有一天
能感覺到我
就算我在你世界渺小像一顆塵埃
我還是愛著你
Labels: 說我愛你
XOXO
wine, wine and more wine
it's cool... even though i have to wake up super early just to get to Sentosa but it's all worth it... ahhaha
we get to taste 6 different wines... 3 red and 3 white...
for white, we have:
Semillion Savignon Blanc 2006
Semillion 2006
Chardonnay 2005
for red, we have:
Merlot 2004
Cabernet Merlot 2004
Cabernet Savignon
it's cool... i personally prefer Semillion Savignon Blanc 2006... it's so crisp and fresh with lots of citrus notes... the others are rather strong and more full bodied... hahaha
after that, we pack up all the wine glasses, and put it to wash & steam... then we polish it and set it up again... it's super cool lah... ahhaha... after all that, me and my classmate Krish went to Bedok to have lunch... then went home...
nothing to do later in the day... the YA Comm got bible study... so i will rotting at home alone... hahaha... sound so drama... ahhaha... but it's ok lah...
p.s: if i have one wish...
the art of wine appreciation
so many wine bottles.... big & small
the restaurant
another picture of the restaurant
setting up the glasses after polishing it
my classmate Krish and me...
it's cool... even though i have to wake up super early just to get to Sentosa but it's all worth it... ahhaha
we get to taste 6 different wines... 3 red and 3 white...
for white, we have:
Semillion Savignon Blanc 2006
Semillion 2006
Chardonnay 2005
for red, we have:
Merlot 2004
Cabernet Merlot 2004
Cabernet Savignon
it's cool... i personally prefer Semillion Savignon Blanc 2006... it's so crisp and fresh with lots of citrus notes... the others are rather strong and more full bodied... hahaha
after that, we pack up all the wine glasses, and put it to wash & steam... then we polish it and set it up again... it's super cool lah... ahhaha... after all that, me and my classmate Krish went to Bedok to have lunch... then went home...
nothing to do later in the day... the YA Comm got bible study... so i will rotting at home alone... hahaha... sound so drama... ahhaha... but it's ok lah...
p.s: if i have one wish...
Welcome to Tourism Academy of Sentosa (TAS)
the art of wine appreciation
so many wine bottles.... big & small
the restaurantsetting up the glasses after polishing it
my classmate Krish and me...Labels: wine
XOXO
Thursday, April 19, 2007
HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY, AIKEN!
today was fun i guess... it's very hangout and chill kind... which is cool...
went to TM to meet Chuan at 5:30pm to get a card for Aiken... ahhah... after buying the present all then we realise that we forget the card... ahhaha... so last minute we went to grab a nice christian card... ahhaha
then we took bus 10 down to church to meet Coral, Mish, Joel Ooi and Bel... then took bus 13 to KC there and walk to Marine Cove... ahhaha
People who were there:
Aiken
Chuan
Joel Ooi
Isaac
Gaius
Ben Choo
Jossie
Kenneth (jossie's friend)
Charmaine
Coral
Mish
Bel
Rach
Livia
Rayvin
Maddy
after sitting there till 10 plus, we decided that it's too late... so we went home... we walk from Marine Cove to the bus 13 busstop and took bus 13 to church then took bus 12 home...
gotta try and sleep early tonight cause i have to be at Harbour Front at 8:45am for a Wine Appreciation Talk in TAS... so yup...
today was fun i guess... it's very hangout and chill kind... which is cool...
went to TM to meet Chuan at 5:30pm to get a card for Aiken... ahhah... after buying the present all then we realise that we forget the card... ahhaha... so last minute we went to grab a nice christian card... ahhaha
then we took bus 10 down to church to meet Coral, Mish, Joel Ooi and Bel... then took bus 13 to KC there and walk to Marine Cove... ahhaha
People who were there:
Aiken
Chuan
Joel Ooi
Isaac
Gaius
Ben Choo
Jossie
Kenneth (jossie's friend)
Charmaine
Coral
Mish
Bel
Rach
Livia
Rayvin
Maddy
after sitting there till 10 plus, we decided that it's too late... so we went home... we walk from Marine Cove to the bus 13 busstop and took bus 13 to church then took bus 12 home...
gotta try and sleep early tonight cause i have to be at Harbour Front at 8:45am for a Wine Appreciation Talk in TAS... so yup...
Labels: HAPPY BIRTHDAY AIKEN
XOXO
the old maddy is back i think
yesterday was a tough day but i thank God for people who really care about me, there to encourage me and let me know that i'm never alone... so here are the awesome people:
coral
mish
sarah lin
bel
aiken
victoria (junior)
sean lee
thank you guys...
woke up like at around 9 plus... didn't really sleep much... but i woke up and decided to watch a dvd... hahah... the usual "Barbie series"... hahha... my fav.... never fail to cheer me up and tell me that there's hope for the not so popular people... hahahha
something i like about Barbie more than Disney is that... in Barbie, the ugly, unpopular, non-heroic people get to live happily ever after too... for Disney, only the prince and princess get to live happily ever after...
ahhaha... i'm such a wierd child... hahah...
for now, i'm gonna chat with my primary school friend... then bum around for a bit more... then go out... hahha...
yesterday was a tough day but i thank God for people who really care about me, there to encourage me and let me know that i'm never alone... so here are the awesome people:
coral
mish
sarah lin
bel
aiken
victoria (junior)
sean lee
thank you guys...
woke up like at around 9 plus... didn't really sleep much... but i woke up and decided to watch a dvd... hahah... the usual "Barbie series"... hahha... my fav.... never fail to cheer me up and tell me that there's hope for the not so popular people... hahahha
something i like about Barbie more than Disney is that... in Barbie, the ugly, unpopular, non-heroic people get to live happily ever after too... for Disney, only the prince and princess get to live happily ever after...
ahhaha... i'm such a wierd child... hahah...
for now, i'm gonna chat with my primary school friend... then bum around for a bit more... then go out... hahha...
Labels: SHINE
XOXO
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
i know i'm stronger than this...
here's a shoutout to:
Bel: thanks babe for everything... i will hang in there and will be praying
Aikey: hey my delicious, thank you for just listening to what i have to say... my decision is not to tell...
Sarah Lin: thank you sarah for just encouraging me and knock some sense out of me... haha
i will just have to brave the fire and walk out of hell... i'm not gonna sit at the corner and feel lousy anymore... maddy is a strong girl.... hahah
fighting! fighting! fighting!
*pardon me while i try to brain wash myself*
i need the fruit of the spirit
i was bored... so i made this... ahhaha
Labels: battle of the heart and mind
XOXO
Lord, this is too big a knot for me to untangle
today is a mission day... it's my mummy's birthday so me and my daddy are gonna give her a surprise... so here's what happen:
6:50am - wake up & wash up
8:30am - leave house & go to school
9:30am - collect uniform
10am - go to bedok and buy flowers
10:30am - make my way down to Orchard Road
11am - go to my mummy's office and leave the flowers at the receptionist desk
11:30am - take the mrt back to bedok and get a cake
1 pm - take bus back home
well, i'm multi-tasking now... eating lunch, watching "happily never after", blogging, chatting and sending pictures to Bel... hahah
still struggling with the hunger for someone... *crying out to God*
i'm gonna explode if i don't tell you how i feel :(
today is a mission day... it's my mummy's birthday so me and my daddy are gonna give her a surprise... so here's what happen:
6:50am - wake up & wash up
8:30am - leave house & go to school
9:30am - collect uniform
10am - go to bedok and buy flowers
10:30am - make my way down to Orchard Road
11am - go to my mummy's office and leave the flowers at the receptionist desk
11:30am - take the mrt back to bedok and get a cake
1 pm - take bus back home
well, i'm multi-tasking now... eating lunch, watching "happily never after", blogging, chatting and sending pictures to Bel... hahah
still struggling with the hunger for someone... *crying out to God*
i'm gonna explode if i don't tell you how i feel :(
Labels: still confused
XOXO
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
this is my 3rd post of the day
goodness... had a super wierd dream last night... and i can't get it off my mind... sarah lin if you're reading this, yup it's the dream that i told you...
not trying to be emo or whatever but... things are just stuck on my mind... every minute, every second is a battle...
don't wanna be an addict for dramatic...
Lord, teach me Your ways...
i try so hard to fight but how long can i stand?
goodness... had a super wierd dream last night... and i can't get it off my mind... sarah lin if you're reading this, yup it's the dream that i told you...
not trying to be emo or whatever but... things are just stuck on my mind... every minute, every second is a battle...
don't wanna be an addict for dramatic...
Lord, teach me Your ways...
i try so hard to fight but how long can i stand?
Labels: sleepless nights
XOXO
i miss Karen
it's only about 1 day and i miss all the youths already... i wanna go back... hahah
went to Sim Lim Sq in the afternoon to get my laptop adaptor... then went to church to meet Chuan... Chuan was tutoring Sean Lee so i just used my laptop while waiting...
took bus 10 to VIVO with Chuan... got movie tickets and then walk around... went to do some shopping and all... after a while we decided to go to the top floor and visit Pet Safari... the doggies are so so cute... it's so awww... hahhah... then we went to the arcade and it's super old skool kind... then we continue to walk around...
then we went to BK for dinner... it was fun, talking and laughing and stuff... then we met Hosea and Bel for SHOOTERS... it's not too bad... ok lah... i manage to guess all the plots etc etc in the show... hahaha
me and my military/war brain...
after that, Hosea took a ferry back to batam while the rest of us went to walk a bit more... Tet Tet called Bel and so i manage to talk to her for a while... Bel need to be home earlier so we took a cab and went back...
nice enterance... but i always never fail to trip over the wooden plank
BK dinner... Chuan was nice enough to help me buy my food while i sit down and sms... ahhaha
it's only about 1 day and i miss all the youths already... i wanna go back... hahah
went to Sim Lim Sq in the afternoon to get my laptop adaptor... then went to church to meet Chuan... Chuan was tutoring Sean Lee so i just used my laptop while waiting...
took bus 10 to VIVO with Chuan... got movie tickets and then walk around... went to do some shopping and all... after a while we decided to go to the top floor and visit Pet Safari... the doggies are so so cute... it's so awww... hahhah... then we went to the arcade and it's super old skool kind... then we continue to walk around...
then we went to BK for dinner... it was fun, talking and laughing and stuff... then we met Hosea and Bel for SHOOTERS... it's not too bad... ok lah... i manage to guess all the plots etc etc in the show... hahaha
me and my military/war brain...
after that, Hosea took a ferry back to batam while the rest of us went to walk a bit more... Tet Tet called Bel and so i manage to talk to her for a while... Bel need to be home earlier so we took a cab and went back...
nice enterance... but i always never fail to trip over the wooden plank
BK dinner... Chuan was nice enough to help me buy my food while i sit down and sms... ahhahaLabels: VIVO CITY OUTING
XOXO
Monday, April 16, 2007
words can't describe and explain, so i'll just let the pictures speak...
if you really wanna know more, you can come and ask me personally... i will be more than glad to tell you everything :)
some of the people who went to send us off...
my C.O.T.S... love you guys... (michelle lam MIA)
our 8 hours bus ride from Bangkok to Maesot...
we all need food... that's chuan and gabsy
my first picture of Maela Camp... simply beautiful
houses made of bamboos... super cool
some more kiddos
the market in the camp
a picture of the river where they bathe
behind the mountain is BURMA... we are that close...
me and Margaret and Tet Tet
a super duper cheeky boy, Eh K'lu
me and a whole group of Bboys... goodness... all they did was smile, talk among themselves and refuse to translate it to english for me...
my last picture of Maela Camp
jamming with hosea at Maesot bus station...
breakfast at 2am???
yummy food at the new Bangkok International Airport
we singaporeans can't live without aircon.... hahaha
if you really wanna know more, you can come and ask me personally... i will be more than glad to tell you everything :)
some of the people who went to send us off...
my C.O.T.S... love you guys... (michelle lam MIA)
our 8 hours bus ride from Bangkok to Maesot...
we all need food... that's chuan and gabsy
my first picture of Maela Camp... simply beautifulhouses made of bamboos... super coola cute lil' girl
some more kiddosthe market in the campbehind the mountain is BURMA... we are that close...me and Margaret and Tet Teta super duper cheeky boy, Eh K'lume and a whole group of Bboys... goodness... all they did was smile, talk among themselves and refuse to translate it to english for me...jamming with hosea at Maesot bus station...breakfast at 2am???
yummy food at the new Bangkok International Airportwe singaporeans can't live without aircon.... hahahaLabels: mission trip: Karen
XOXO